Thursday, 27 February 2014

Well then, how to live with someone who doesn't speak, hates people and generally has no emotions and feelings?

Stop. If you think that way, you don't know who introverts are (like most of our society). I try to show you their real face. The best tactic is UNDERSTANDING them. (but I recommend using this method with all your social relationships). For a very long time, at least in my country, people weren't speaking about types of personalities, and when they start some myths had been made.

MYTH #1 Introverts are shy

They don't. Not all of them. Introversion doesn't entail shyness. Unfortunaletly, people think that these two terms as synonyms very often. The fact that somebody doesn't talk, just to talk, doesn't mean fear or shame. You wouldn't say Bill Gates is shy (and definitely he is an introvert)

MYTH #2 Introverts don't like to talk

On the contrary. Introverts prefer to listen first, think it over and then debate about the issue. That's why small talks are consider by them as a waste of time (or like me they do not know what to say in such situations). But if you start a chat on "their" subject I guarantee even a couple hours of  discussion

The other thing is speaking in public. Introverts are really good at it. Personally, I feel better holding a presentation for five hundred people than getting in front of class during seminar (where is seven of us).

MYTH #3 Introverts hate people

Bullshit. They really derive pleasure from contacts with othe people and enjoy the time. Moreover they like public places. Seriously. Introversion is not a kind of social phobia.

MYTH #4 Introverts have no feelings

If someone doesn't show his/her feeling it won't mean he/she has no. I think it doesn't need more comments (and if you reckon differently, next time you will be about to give somebody a tongue lashing you should really stop and think it over again).

MYTH #5 Introverts have a depression (and they can't achive anything)

My favourite. In my early chidhood I had been asked by other children "why are you so sad?". But I wasn't. It was just my time for rest and regeneration. I couldn't spent eight hours with 20-30 other preschoolers and be "present" all the time. I needed a break (I still do!). And I hadn't an opportuninty to seat alone for a while so I admit it might look like I just lost my cat. During the years I get into the habit (unwittingly) of smiling while I talk. I didn't realised until my friend from university told me that.

I suppose that "my smiling" ended era of questions about sadness and started comments like "you're so nice girl but you're too quiet. You should start to talk more and be more lively!". And I don't know why, but it hurt that 12-year-shy-me. I think it would hurt still if I didn't realise that it's just my nature and I can't do anything about it (I heard about intro- and evtraversion years later) as well as success doesn't depends from how loud you cry but your arguments and ability of defending them.


Post a Comment